hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
