i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
