My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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