You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was born a porn star she said
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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