actually, I'm a sock model
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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