I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize