I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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