I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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