cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
