Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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