Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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