you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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