Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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