After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
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Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize