I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My vagina is officially offended.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
