Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
