i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
