her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
