oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
