you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
