Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
