that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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