Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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