There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
