Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
