my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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