Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
