the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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