hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
