i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
