my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
