I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
