i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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