i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
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I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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