my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
