i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
