You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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