haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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