Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
