If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
