I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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