Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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