Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
