it's too hot outside to masturbate.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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