Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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