Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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