Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
