Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
