have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
