We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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