We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
