What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
