i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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