I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
