Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
