I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
