none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
what day is it and did you see me today?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize