Yo dont text me then not text me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
